Book six is Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max. I figured I might as well read his books back to back. And a book that can make me laugh is always a decent one. I haven't heard quite as much about this one from people I know as I did with I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. When I read his first book, I had a lot of people telling me how great it was and how funny it was. I haven't heard as much about this one from people, but I'm sure if it's anywhere near as funny as the first one, I'm going to enjoy it.
And just because these are funny, here are responses to I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell:
"We protest everything about Tucker Max and what he stands for."
"I had never finished a book--not even for school--until I came across yours. I had no idea writing could be this interesting or funny."
"People who like Tucker Max: Douchebags and Baby Rapists."
"Your book made me laugh so hard I pissed my goddamn pants. I literally pissed in my pants. When's the last time you read something that did that to you? I don't even do that when I'm drunk."
"For some reason professional creep Tucker Max wrote a book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, which became a bestseller just to prove that America, as a concept, is over"
"Tucker, you are my hero. I wake up every morning with the courage to face my shitty life, all because you exist. I know the system can be beat, because I've seen you do it. Thank you so much."
I usually like people. I truly pray something terrible happens to you. Maybe for saying that I will end up in hell, but hopefully on a different level than you. You will end up drinking fire as the devil fucks you in the ass. Enjoy the limelight you alcoholic walking Petri dish."
"I am a happily married mother of three wonderful young sons. One day I will ask them, 'Sons, what do you want to be when you grow up?' The first will answer, 'an astronaut.' The second will answer, 'the president.' The third will look me in the eyes and confidently say, 'Tucker Max.' He'll be my favorite son."
The inside cover says:
"What do you do after you write a #1 bestselling book about your drunken, sexual misadventures that makes you rich and famous? Celebrate by getting more drunk and having insane amounts of sex, obviously. And pretty soon you've got another fucking book on your hands. Stuffed full of ridiculous stories of bad decisions, debauchery, and sexual recklessness, Assholes Finish First starts where I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell left off, and proceeds to "some next-level shit." You already know how women react to confidence game, and vodka, but what happens when you add money and fame to the mix? You get answers to the hard questions you've never thought of asking:
What's it like to have sex with a midget? What about two midgets?
How does it feel to get multiple requests to 'fuck for charity'?
What does it do to a man to watch a 19-year-old do wind sprints to sober up, so that she can have sex with you before her twin sister does?
At what number of virgins does deflowering them stop being fun and start feeling like a job?
When a girl you met three hours ago decides to tattoo your name next to her pussy, what is the appropriate reaction?
Can you X-ray a blowjob?
The answers are inside, they are absurd and hilarious, and they are the product of one man's experiences: His name is Tucker Max, and he is still an asshole."
I'm pretty excited to start reading this book. If you're interested, you can get it from Amazon:
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell: Final Review
This one took me a long time, not because it was a hard or uninteresting read, but because sometimes life gets in the way of the things we enjoy. August was an insanely hectic month for me. But I'm back and finally finished I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.
Overall, this book was hilarious. And after the month I've had, finishing this book made me feel a little better about my life. My life may be messy sometimes, but it isn't anywhere near the level of Tucker Max, so I'm pretty grateful for that.
As with the rest of the book, the last half had some great lines. Here are a few of my favorites:
"Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people," (209).
"If I owned Hell and Texas, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell," (251).
"Fucking with 18 year old girls is like kicking cripples; it's just too easy," (253).
"In the country, it ain't called 'drankin a beer', it's called 'improvin' yer work'," (256).
The things he says to other people (usually girls he is talking to in bars) and the things other people say to him (such as the last one above said by a guy he met in Midland, Texas) are ridiculous and hilarious. The interactions usually follow the same scenario--Tucker meets girl; Tucker insults girl or girl's friends; Girl thinks Tucker is funny; Tucker has sex with girl--and yet, they are always funny.
My one qualm with this book is the last story, "The Worst Tucker Story Ever". The title describes it perfectly. It is, by far, the worst story in the book. And the most disgusting and repulsing. I'm not even going to tell you about it. Thinking about it makes me want to vomit. You'll have to read that one for yourself and decide whether or not you agree that it's the worst Tucker story.
Aside from that story (which I really don't think should have ended the book), the book is excellent. It's dirty and graphic and vulgar and I wouldn't recommend anyone under 17 read it. I wouldn't let your mom read it either. Unless your mom is really cool and finds stuff like this funny. It's a good book, and definitely worth a read. And I do intend to watch the movie just as soon as I can get it and I'll let you all know what I think.
Overall, I'd rate this book as a Starbucks Peppermint Mocha (4). It was really good, but not quite good enough to be a favorite. And the ending is partially what ruined it for this book. If you're interested in buying I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, you can find it on Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/Hope-They-Serve-Beer-movie/dp/0806532254/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315423482&sr=1-1
As always, thanks for reading!
Overall, this book was hilarious. And after the month I've had, finishing this book made me feel a little better about my life. My life may be messy sometimes, but it isn't anywhere near the level of Tucker Max, so I'm pretty grateful for that.
As with the rest of the book, the last half had some great lines. Here are a few of my favorites:
"Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people," (209).
"If I owned Hell and Texas, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell," (251).
"Fucking with 18 year old girls is like kicking cripples; it's just too easy," (253).
"In the country, it ain't called 'drankin a beer', it's called 'improvin' yer work'," (256).
The things he says to other people (usually girls he is talking to in bars) and the things other people say to him (such as the last one above said by a guy he met in Midland, Texas) are ridiculous and hilarious. The interactions usually follow the same scenario--Tucker meets girl; Tucker insults girl or girl's friends; Girl thinks Tucker is funny; Tucker has sex with girl--and yet, they are always funny.
My one qualm with this book is the last story, "The Worst Tucker Story Ever". The title describes it perfectly. It is, by far, the worst story in the book. And the most disgusting and repulsing. I'm not even going to tell you about it. Thinking about it makes me want to vomit. You'll have to read that one for yourself and decide whether or not you agree that it's the worst Tucker story.
Aside from that story (which I really don't think should have ended the book), the book is excellent. It's dirty and graphic and vulgar and I wouldn't recommend anyone under 17 read it. I wouldn't let your mom read it either. Unless your mom is really cool and finds stuff like this funny. It's a good book, and definitely worth a read. And I do intend to watch the movie just as soon as I can get it and I'll let you all know what I think.
Overall, I'd rate this book as a Starbucks Peppermint Mocha (4). It was really good, but not quite good enough to be a favorite. And the ending is partially what ruined it for this book. If you're interested in buying I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, you can find it on Amazon.com:
http://www.amazon.com/Hope-They-Serve-Beer-movie/dp/0806532254/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315423482&sr=1-1
As always, thanks for reading!
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